Jeep Humor - poking fun at the world, and ourselves

THE WINCH THAT SAVED CHRISTMAS

The wind was quite heavy on one Christmas Eve,

Santa traveled by ground, behind schedule, if you believe.

He was cruising through California in his mighty red sleigh,

And said, If I don't hurry, there will be no Christmas Day.

Blitzen turned around and said, Santa, you won't fail,

We Reindeer found a short-cut called the Rubicon Trail.

They headed for the trail, but when they got there,

The rocks looked much bigger than they did from the air.

Up hill the reindeer struggled to make the sleigh go,

And getting around those rocks made the progress quite slow.

They tried really hard but there just wasn't a way,

To get axle articulation from an old wooden sleigh.

Where the rocks are quite steep, Santa ran out of luck,

Even with nine reindeer, he finally got stuck.

The Rubicon Trail is no place for a sleigh full of toys,

Santa sighed, I've failed all those good girls and boys!

They'll rise in the morning, leave their rooms and say,

'Under the tree, it is empty, is there NO CHRISTMAS DAY?'

They couldn't budge the sleigh, no matter how hard they tried,

Santa felt so hopeless he sat down and cried.

Suddenly in the distance came a loud clanking sound,

Like an old wind-up toy that's been too tightly wound.

They saw it come over a boulder with a creep,

A rock crawlin', mud boggin' CJ-5 Jeep.

Its fenders were dented, and its sides were all scratched,

The top had big holes that hadn't been patched.

But its tires were big ones, 35 inch,

And on its front bumper was a shiny new winch.

If you're taking the Rubicon, the CJ started to say,

Go with a group and get mud tires for that sleigh.

Santa said, I'm sorry, I feel like a jerk,

The old CJ-5 said nothing, it just went to work.

The sleigh was unstuck and free in a cinch,

Thanks to that CJ and its shiny new winch.

Santa went on to fulfill Christmas day,

With the old CJ-5 leading the way.

Now many years have passed and the reindeer are older,

They don't fly very well when the weather gets colder.

But Santa's still out there every year without fail,

Fulfilling his promise in the air and on the trail.

On Christmas Eve, if you chance to look in the sky,

You just might see him in that old CJ-5.